List of excuses for high gas prices [updated for 2014]

• The price of crude oil has gone up.
• A refinery in Ontario caught fire.
• Not enough pipelines to get oil from Alberta to refineries.
• Our dollar is worth less and has less buying power.
• We have to sell the gas made from expensive crude first.
• The government is forcing us to pay higher royalties.
• Taxes man, freaking taxes.
• We were told to raise prices by the federal government to stimulate the economy.
• It's to pay for the security measures we put in place to protect your credit card data.
• Higher priced gas gives you better fuel economy.
• The price of crude oil has gone down. We know - it doesn't make any sense to us either.
• If we lowered the price, you'd feel like you were stealing from us.
• We're barely making a profit here. Geez.
• A train derailed and spilled its load of oil.
• The cost of owning and operating a yacht in the Bahamas has skyrocketed.
• We seem to have misplaced all of our lower numbers for gas station signs.
• If we didn't hike prices, you'd all have nothing to talk about over lunch.
• We're still cheaper than Norway....
• Those new, shiny office towers in Calgary don't build themselves.
• When we throw the 'price dart' at the dart board of prices, there's no telling what it will land on. And we're lousy shots to boot.
• We were drunk during the 'set the price' meeting.
• If we lowered prices, Americans would come up here and suck us dry. Then there'd be no gas left for you.
• We're doing our part for public transit. Lower prices means you'd drive more.
• We're getting a lot of 'likes' on Facebook.
• It's our way of paying tribute to the dinosaurs, who made the oil possible.
• There are monsters living in the gas station underground reservoirs that drink gas. We don't know how to kill them.
• Expensive gas keeps your engine cleaner.
• Not enough people buying high octane. If you all bought higher octane, we could lower prices.
• Too many people buying higher octane. Geez, we're not made of the stuff ya know.
• Because Neil Young.
• "Why is the price of gas so high?" [said in a whiny manner to mock and insult consumers]
• Because we can.