Training haiku

A colleague at work challenged me to write haiku poetry to help showcase some of the courses I teach at work. Challenge accepted!

Conditional formatting
Because we are not
Capable of extracting
Stories from numbers

Creating charts
Nothing interests
The data disciple more
Than charts made of pie

Data validation
One cannot filter
An endless range of data
When one has free will

Formula auditing
It’s all in the trace
That connects precedents and
Dependents as one

Named ranges
One does not use words
In formulas in Excel
Just by wishing it

Pivot tables
Grasshopper must learn
Do not create summaries
They will manifest for you

Excel protection
As one guides children
So must the user be shown
Certain cells are locked

Will your document survive without you?
Hallowed be the day
When documents do tell us
Double you tee eff

Excel Foundation
Your program wisdom
Is full of holes like Swiss cheese
Your trainer can plug

File Management
Folders and files are
A portal to the abyss
Without discipline

Good spreadsheet structure
No blank rows at all
Every row a record
Database you are

How to search in Windows
Your frantic mouse clicks
Are silenced forever by
Start menu search field

Listening skills
Your mouth and ears can
Accomplish their tasks quite well
But not all at once

Outlook in a day
Your Outlook skills are
Like stabbing at elephants
With rubber toothpicks

The advantage of tables in Excel
Pre-built named ranges
That scale up with each new row
Are but a teaser

Master calendar appointments
Like an empty map
Calendars void of events
Are directionless

Wikis
A brief description
That if leaving one wanting
Hyperlinks to more

Security awareness
One must recognize
The weakest link in the fence
To protect the lot

SharePoint overview
Web pages as tools
For team collaboration
And data sharing

Time management
Multitasking is
A myth created to pad
The soft resume

Unlearn bad email habits
Electronic mail
Is meant to be short and sweet
Do not ramble on

Up to speed with PowerPoint
A presentation
Is best used as a billboard
Instead of a script

Visio
Only Microsoft
Could build floor plans and org charts
In a single app

Styles in Word
Just as in fashion
A set combination of
Format attributes

Word table of contents
Equipped with headings
One can slay the beast that is
Table of contents

Taming track changes
Accept or reject
The contributor's content
With steely resolve