"What's your ETA?"

I like to send text messages to friends of mine, at random times of the day, that just say "What's your ETA?"

I love knowing somewhere across town somebody is frantically rifling through emails and text messages, in their underwear, trying to figure out what they agreed to do with me.

They write back, "What!?" 

And I write back, "Yeah, we're all seated. Better hurry." 

Then they write back, "Where!?"

Then don't respond. Ever.

~Tig Notaro